Daddy, you were right!

I know I am a little early for Father's Daddy Day :)

but oh well....

As I sit here...years ahead of the person I use to be, all I can think about is....

Daddy, you were right!

As a 26 year old woman with much more experience under her belt than she would like to admit; the question that sticks out the most in my mind is why I was so stupid? 

Why did I do the things I did? 

Why did I have to learn lessons "the hard way"? 

Have my experiences made me into who I am today? 

Could I have evaded all of the pain and still ended up at this point in my life? 

I am sure I will never know the answers to these questions until I meet my maker, but I cannot help but wonder these things because even though my daughters are still in diapers, I want the best for them everyday of their lives. How can I stop this vicious cycle? I know I absolutely DO NOT want my girls to go through the things I went through or saw or even some of the things that I have heard. But HOW??? Everyone knows there is NO manual for how to raise the "perfect" children. Of course that helps, since I don't want perfect children, specially since I know for a fact I was no where near a perfect child for my parents...

So I deserve exactly what is coming to me 

I just want happy children, who have a moral obligation to themselves to just be good people. I personally believe this will be a difficult task.  

Where it all starts.

Innocence. 

When does it wear off? Unfortunately earlier and earlier as the years go by. Between how lax parents have become and the social media children are becoming these tiny disrespectful, violent, sexual beings. And those young people just continue to grown into ugly people. So how exactly do we keep our children in kid mode for as long as possible? (aka not growing up too fast...) That is very hard to say because everyone will have opinions for you; from doctors, to parents, to friends....they all know how it's done, lies. Trial and error is a risky business when it comes to raising your children. It is an extremely scary thing. 

Daddy's Girl :)

So back to this Daddy you were right thing....let me explain. I respect my Daddy more than words can express...and I think respect sometimes can be taking higher than love itself. You can disagree, that's fine. But think about it, you can love a lot of people, but how many of those people to you actually RESPECT? My Daddy is wise beyond his years and I really wish I would have realized that years ago. I was a Daddy's Girl long before I even understood what it meant. But I do think I really did not respect my Daddy one million percent until I met my husband, then it all made sense. 

As a parent my Dad made mistakes, just like everyone else. But I think he was one of the better parents out there. He put the fear of God and the law in me at a very young age, which is probably why I can proudly say that I have NEVER ever tried drugs, even when I had many opportunities. I was too scared to drink underage...lol....i know how many kids say this??? But I hope I can do this to my children. I hope I can also be an example to my children just like my Dad when it comes to being a God loving person. I know I have things to work on, and that is one. My family goes to church every weekend, but we need to live for God. I pray for that everyday. 

As a teenager, I made stupid decisions, just like everyone else. I was not the confident person I am today. I was easily influenced at some points in my life, just like everyone else. I eventually learned the hard way, to just be myself. Conforming was my biggest fault when I was younger. Conforming can take so many different forms and can change who you are on a daily basis if you are not a strong person. I was not as strong as I thought I was.   

YES my parents were strict, and that had an effect on me as a teenager. And people still make fun of it today.  I personally do not know what they could have done differently. I really did start on the right track, but at some point I lost GOD, and unfortunately I did not find him again until I realized how far I had fallen. And you cannot take back what you have already done. Though I know my GOD has forgiven me, it still weights heavily on my mind. The main thing I want to do differently with my girls is to not only explain ALL aspect of sex, but what is not only morally correct but what can happen to you not only physically but mentally. And at the end, you can either spiral down and crash and burn or pick yourself up and take back who you really are. 

 I'll skip the graphic details here....but I can say when I walked down the aisle, on my Daddy's arm, to marry the man who was going to be my husband. The one thing that was on my mind was how I had not only disappointed the two most important men in my life, but I disappointed myself. I look back and wonder where and when I got off track. I grew up wanting to save myself for marriage. I did not understand the magnitude of that until I was walking down the aisle wishing more than anything that I had never broke that promise to myself and God. I really don't want to make excuses but I was a very self conscience young girl, who was constantly badgered about having sex with the person I thought I was going to marry. Unfortunately I was eventually convinced that he not only loved me but was going to marry me...in his words...."so why wait??"  Well now I know why I should have waited..... He tried to change me, and he succeeded. I wish I would have been strong enough then to see through him, but it only brought me further down. I wish I would have respected myself more. There is ABSOLUTELY NO reason why people need to learn lessons themselves. Take advise and learn from other peoples examples. It will save you so much grief in the end. 

I want to teach my girls they DO NOT need a man in their life. They need to be strong independent woman first. DO NOT allow a man/boy to take advantage of you. It's very easy to tell if they love you. Someone who loves you would never convince you to do something you DO NOT want to do. I hope to teach them to be who they want to be and not to let ANYONE try to change that!!!!

I know what everyone says, because I use to say it. 

"Everyone does it." 

No they don't! That's what people say when they want to get in your pants to convince you that it's okay.....

"You need to test drive a car before buying it."

 People a man/woman IS NOT a vehicle...seriously....a car doesn't have morals or a personality....how stupid to compare a sacred act to buying a car?? 

"It's the norm in society today."  

WHAT??? It doesn't have to be. Anyone can change this. It is called making a choice, and God gave us that option, so it should be called making the RIGHT choice.  

I wish all little girls could learn this....and I wish all parents could give a crap. The world is full of lies...and it is a very vicious circle, that I wish some one would put a stop to. 

I wish I knew then what I know now, but maybe I had to make those mistakes to make me a better parent for my children. I know I made my mistakes, but I am my own person today. No one will change who I am...only I have the power to do that.

I pray I can be the parent I want to be. 

Though I know I am not a perfect person...

I want to THANK YOU DADDY! 

(Though you will probably never read this, cause let's face it...you're not very computer literate ;))

You have helped more than you know to shape me into the woman I am today, and the woman I continue to grow into. I hope one day I can be just as good of an example to my children as you continue to be for me. 

Love and God Bless
mrscomeaux